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the bohemian lifestyle;

Butterfly - Main


"Drink up baby
down.

Are you in
or are you out?


Leave your things behind
'cause it's all going off
without you.


Excuse me?
Too busy?
You're writing
your tragedy.

These mishaps
You
bubble-wrap
when you've no idea what you're like.

So let go.

Jump in.

Oh well,
what are you waiting for?

It's all right,

'cause there's beauty in the breakdown.

So let go,

let go.

Just get in.

Oh, it's so amazing
here.

It's all right

'cause there's beauty in the breakdown.

It gains the more it gives,
and then it rises with the fall.
So hand me that remote;
can't you see that all that stuff's
a sideshow?

Such boundless pleasure;
we've no time for
later.
Now you can't await
your own arrival,

you've twenty seconds
to comply...

So let go,

yeah let go.

Just get in.

It's all right
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown.

So amazing here,
'Cause there's beauty

...in the breakdown."

July 29th, 2007

(no subject)

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Butterfly - Main
Accidents change you.

February 4th, 2007

ARRRRGHH

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Wire Walking
I'm not mad, no.
I'm livid, fuming, foaming at the mouth.

Fuck you Trevor.
Fuck you for getting trashed out of your fucking mind.
Fuck you for walking back with Liz and I because you're so fucking hung up on Liz.
Fuck you for suddenly grabbing me around the neck, then forcing me to crumple to the ground under all of your body weight.

My left knee is twice the size of the right. I can't bend it, I can barely walk. My surgeon thinks I should have it drained if it gets worse. Surgeon also thinks I badly bruised or tore something with the amount of swelling I'm having. RRRRRR...

So he felt bad. But no, didn't feel bad about crippling me again, felt bad because he told Liz stories he wouldn't tell anyone while sober. That's great, Trevor. Next time don't fucking sit in my room all day and ask me stupid fucking questions or just sit in my room and be a dick.

"Why is Liz mad at me?"
"She's not mad at you."
"But she's not picking up her phone, she's acting different."
"She's not acting different Trevor, she's at a leadership conference."
"Let me try your phone and see if she picks up"
"No, just leave her be." Trevor takes my phone anyway, not like I can stop him.
"She's not picking up."
"She's at a conference...."

***

Later in the day...

"My doctor says I should go the hospital to have my knee drained.
Trevor's typing something on his phone, not responding.
"It hurts really bad... I don't know what to do, and I don't have a ride.. Plus it's a blizzard outside."
"Hey, hey Whitney I'm just calling you back. I'm sorry I didn't see you last night...etc"
Right now while I'm icing my knee on the futon, Nimrod is completely sprawled out on my bed and has a 20 fucking minute conversation with this Whitney girl. When he finally hangs up...
"Yo my brother had his knee drained at the hospital. they take a little scalpal and cut your knee open and the puss like squirts out and oozes all down your leg."
"......"
"Are you mad at me? I'm really sorry."

I can handle small doses of Trevor, but he's being ridiculous. I'm so fed up with being nice. Today I'm not going to have any sympathy, because it's been more than a full day- and if anything my knee is worse. Fuck me.
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